The End

This will be the last post of this blog.  I will keep it private and not share it, but I wanted to write down what I have gone through so that I will remember.  After my 2nd blood work, it showed my numbers were increasing.  That was strange, but I knew that it probably did not mean anything.  We went to Utah, I bled for about a week.  I had mild crapping.  The bleeding was not extremely heavy. If it had happened 2 weeks earlier, I would have thought it was my period.  I did pass some clots.  A lot of little ones, one somewhat large one.  We enjoyed our time with family. I did not tell anyone, I just didn't want anyone to be sad about it, when we were there to visit.  When we got home from our trip, my dr. had me go in for more blood work.  My numbers had completely dropped.  The test was negative for pg, so they told me I completely miscarried.  I do not need another u/s, and I do not have to go in for my appt. next week.  They want us to wait 2 cycles before trying again.  I am afraid to try again.  Afraid that with my advanced age, I will just miscarry again. But I know we will probably try, because both Mike and I feel we have one more child waiting to be a part of our family.  I just hope I do no miscarry again.  I am grateful though that everything went so smoothly and besides the emotions of losing a baby, everything else is fine and was not physically difficult to go through.

Bleeding

I think this blog is going to be a short one.  I am going to write about what is going on for myself and I will probably not share it with anyone else.  On Thursday I started to bleed.  At first just a little, but then it got heavier, very similar to a period.  I called my dr. and they advised me to go to the ER.  I went to the ER, they took blood work and did an u/s.  Everything was measuring right, but there was no heartbeat.  However, you can't always see a heartbeat at 6 weeks, so they told me I need to come back to have more blood drawn and see if my numbers are increasing or decreasing.  Everything is complicated by the fact we are leaving on Monday to visit family in Utah.  I will go to the hospital tmw to have the blood drawn.  I have not stopped bleeding and I have some cramps.  I have not really had any pg symptoms since I found out I was pregnant, so I do not have a lot of hope for this pg. I will see my dr when we get back from Utah. If I have in fact m/c, like I feel I am, then they will just check my numbers again and do another u/s to make sure everything is gone.  I really hope I can enjoy seeing my family next week.  I know it will distract me from what is going on, but I am still so sad that we will not get our Christmas baby.  I really think this baby heartbeat never started beating, and so I assume that there was a reason for this.  But it is not fun to go through and is still a loss we have to suffer through even though not many (if anyone really) will know about it.

BFP!!!!

Looks like baby #4 is on the way. We are expecting our new little bundle of joy right after Christmas! I am excited and a little bit nervous.  It hard to think about going back to that baby stage with 3 other kids already, but I know we can do it.  Hoping for an easy pregnancy.  So far no morning sickness, do I dare wish that will continue.